


A 3AM Promise

by DeadlyBingo



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, kind of angst, not terrible angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6447976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyBingo/pseuds/DeadlyBingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On some level, Felicity had convinced herself that waking up in the middle of the night to check on Oliver kept his nightmares as bay. After the breakup, her body still won’t adjust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A 3AM Promise

Felicity had been through _plenty_ of terrifying things in her life.  From being kidnapped by the occasional psychopath, to a bomb being strapped around her neck, and even facing down the League of Assassins; she _knew_ what it meant to feel fear.  But the first time Felicity saw Oliver wake up from a nightmare remained toward the top of her ‘terrifying moments’ list.  

That night, and the helpless clenching in her chest as she watched him struggle to catch his breath, would always be seared into her memory. The desperate horror in his eyes, his white knuckle grasp on their bed sheets as he attempted to ground himself, the sweat pouring down his neck despite the cold of his hands, and the only words he could mutter being warnings to stay away (which, of course, she didn’t listen to).  Felicity would never forget the fear she felt in those interminable minutes.  Not for danger to herself, but for how _powerless_ she felt to make his pain stop.  

Of course, once he could speak again, Oliver apologized profusely and thanked her for holding him until his heart rate slowed.  He even offered to sleep on the couch so she could get the rest she deserved.  But she reminded Oliver that his concerns were completely unnecessary. She was in this through the good times and bad. Plus, _she never intended to spend another night away from him,_ so the couch was _not_ an option.  She promised she would always be there, next to him, to keep the nightmares at bay.

And, since Felicity had made Oliver that promise, the nightmares were almost non-existent.  Oliver rarely even woke from his slumber after they went to bed each night; but Felicity _always_ did.

At least once per night, but usually more often, Felicity would wake from her dreams and her only thoughts would be of Oliver.  

She didn’t mind the disruption to her sleep.  Felicity even _liked_ confirming that he was okay.  She felt a sense of honor being able to witness him so untroubled in his dreams.  In the peace of the night, sometimes she would even be lucky enough catch a _glimpse of a smile_.  Once she even heard a _laugh_.  And afterwards she could just nuzzle back into his side and fall asleep in his arms all over again. No, she didn’t _mind_ waking up at all.

After the breakup, she still woke up, but it became harder to go back to sleep.  Felicity would crack her eyes open and turn so naturally that she couldn’t help but be surprised by only having a pile of unfolded laundry beside her.  Suddenly she’d be too hot or too cold.  She’d need a drink of water or to run to the bathroom.  Or her mind would just start to flood with useless facts or inconsequential musings that refused to let her brain rest.  But it didn’t take long for her to realize what question these nightly disruptions were attempting to cover up:  _Was he okay?_

She worried his nightmares had returned when she left.  That, at that moment, Oliver was sitting up in his bed, sheets soaked in sweat and gasping for breath, and no one was there to rub his back and promise he’d never be alone again.

Some nights, she felt it in her _bones_.  She knew the concept of a “bad feelings” was totally malarkey and there was no science to back them up. In reality, she probably just felt guilty for hurting him.  He was _probably_ sound asleep and completely fine.  But, despite her logic, Felicity wouldn’t be able to shake the feeling that Oliver was up at that very moment and he _needed_ her.  Those were the nights she didn’t even try to go back to sleep.  She’d get up and clean the apartment, attempt to master the 3AM art of cooking, or drive into the office. A _nything_ to suppress the urge to call him and check in.

Felicity wished there was a way she could stop his nightmares without returning to him.  That she could still provide support without giving him the power to _break_ her heart all over again.  But she knew it was impossible.  He had to learn to live without her.  And _she_ had to learn to live without _him_.

And during the day, living without him was easy enough to fake.  Sometimes she even fooled herself into _thinking_ she was moving on.  She kept herself distracted with work, projects, her mother, even some new friends.  But at night… at night when her eyes popped open at 3AM, her thoughts always turned to him.  And for the time being, she didn’t try to stop them. Because she hoped, beyond all reason, that just being up would still keep his nightmares at bay.  Even if they were miles apart.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- Thanks for reading! More of my work can be found on my tumblr at deadlybingo.


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